Happy Weird Movie Wednesday, kiddos! Hope we are all ready for some campfire tales. Lately, I have been surrounded by happy campers, people who are enjoying the sunshine and pleasant weather of the lake that I live on. All this merriment makes me think of one of my favorite horror anthologies, The Willies. It is a childhood favorite and a perfect movie for this time of year. So make you a s'more and let's get this one started.
The Willies is about three boys who are sleeping out in a tent in their front yard. To alleviate the boredom of sitting out in an empty tent, they start telling campfire stories. They start small, sticking to local urban legends, then they head to the main event. A story so weird, you have to see it to believe it. The movie stars Sean Astin and the late James Karen and is just too good to miss. I thought I would retell each story for you, in my own words. They aren't very long and they should be just the thing to put you in the camping spirit. The first tale is about fried chicken.
Starting with a local legend, the tale about the woman and a bucket of fried chicken is one you might have heard of in your own town. A lady goes into a chicken joint and orders herself a bucket of fried chicken. Without a care in the world, she goes for a hearty piece of the stuff. She bites in and begins to chew. As she chews, she notices something off about the fried delicacy...it doesn't taste right...it doesn't look right...so, she looks down to find that it's not chicken at all, it's a RAT!!! A tale as old as time, one might say. This is just the story to start us off on our spooky adventure. Not too scary and funny enough to make another boy tell a story about the local amusement park and it's scariest ride.
Another local legend, this one is about the local amusement park and it's once terrifying ride. Before it was the ride it was today, this horror themed ride had scared an old man to death. It was one of those haunted house tour rides, where there are scenes of vampires, zombies, and rippers. Pretty standard stuff, however the heart of an elderly man just couldn't "hack" the horror. As monsters jumped out and put on a great horror show, the man dies of fright. That is some great acting, if you ask me. The ride continues and the man is found by an unsuspecting worker who is just helping people out of the ride. According to one of the boys, this is why the ride is for wussy's.
The and third final local urban legend is more world wide than you might think. This one is about a woman who unknowingly cooks her beloved pooch. After primping and pampering her sweet pup, this devoted fur mom puts her baby in the microwave. Thinking this would be a quicker means of drying her dog, she sets him on high. I think we all knows how this one ends and this is undoubtedly the darkest of the urban legends. However, this is the perfect story the boys could tell to lead us into the more scary stories. The next one is a personal story of the oldest boy, played by Sean Astin, about a bullied boy named Danny.
Danny is a special boy, a talented artist and an all around good student. Unfortunately, he is picked on by school bullies. While on his way to class, Danny is targeted by head bully, Rudy. Rudy and his 'boys' take Danny, tie him up with a giant water hose, and hoist him in the air with his blue ribbon over his mouth. He is saved by new janitor, Mr. Jenkins. This kindly old man, played by James Karen, reassures Danny that boys like Rudy get what's coming to them in the end. With that, Danny rushes to class where he is reprimanded for being late by his teacher, Mrs. Titmarch. She is one sour apple, let me tell you. She springs a pop quiz on her elementary class...on fractions, no less! What a nightmare. The real nightmare begins when Danny has to go to the bathroom. Reluctantly, Mrs.Titmarch allows Danny to go, however, when he gets there he finds the boys room in disarray, to say the least. While looking for a clean stall, Danny stumbles upon a big brown monster (not that kind of brown monster, you sicko). Danny races out of the boys room, wetting himself out of fear and locks himself back in his classroom. Crying, "there's a monster in the bathroom, there's a monster in the bathroom!" Danny tries to want his class. Repulsed by the wet britches, Mrs.Titmarch marches him back to the boys room, assuring him that there is no monster. Oh how wrong she was. While scolding Danny for being such a big baby, the monster attacks and kills Mrs.Titmarch. Once again, Danny goes back to his classroom and warns the class about the monster. No one believes him, especially Rudy and his boys. They follow Danny to the bathroom and Danny locks them in, knowing that the monster would get them. When he is sure that it has, he goes home. Danny just ups and leaves the school and with all that he's seen today, who could blame him? But that's not where the story ends. After the boys have been eaten, we see the monster put on his human skin and who do we see? Why, it's Mr.Jenkins. The final scene of this short is Mr.Jenkins, janitoring at a new school. He is asked about a missing child. He says that he's seen the boy...bullying other kids, taking their lunch money and what not, but not since the morning. We get a final shot of him cleaning windows with a bloody flannel shirt...the same one the boy who is missing was wearing that morning.
That last one is a great story and is sworn true by the boy. He said his dad had been there and seen it for himself. They two other boys aren't impressed and attempt to scare with this final story, a story about a boy and his flies. Gordy Belcher is a loner kid with a strange obsession with flies. He loves them. He loves to capture them, kill them, and make little models with them. One being a model of a church and it is hilarious, honestly. Needless to say, he is strange. He even dreams about flies, maggots and Kirk Cameron talking to him through the TV. His parents worry about his social development because all he does is spend time with flies, even pranking people with them. Well, one prank goes too far and he gets sent home from school. On his way home, he bumps into his crazy neighbor, from whom Gordy steals from, and invites him into his barn. The farmer, named farmer Spivey, has developed a miracle manuer that helps plants grow massive and he knows that Gordy steals some of it from him now and again. As a truce, Spivey gifts Gordy a special batch of his miracle manure. Gordy takes it and goes home, not really caring or listening to the old man. When he returns home he finds that his mom has cleaned out all of his flies and models...all except for one fly catcher hanging outside his bedroom window. Vowing to get all his stuff back, Gordy places the flies into the miracle manuer then goes to bed. In the middle of the night, Gordy's parents hear some commotion coming from their sons room. They creep down the hall and open their sons door to find that giant flies have ripped Gordy's arms off! They have gotten their revenge and proving one thing... Spivey's miracle manuer really works. He did say it was a special batch. This story ends with Gordy lounging in a hammock, swatting away flies with hooks for hands.
The final story is my personal favorite, but the movie isn't over yet. After the final story is finished, the boys hear someone coming. A parent, no doubt, so they pretend to be asleep. It's the older boy's dad, coming to check on the boys to make sure they weren't giving each other the Willie's. They tell him about the stories and how the two other boys weren't convinced by Sean Astins story. He tells his dad to prove the story. "Are you sure I should?", he asks. "Go for it" he responds. With that, the dad rips off his face to reveal the big brown monster from the second story. Screams intermixed with growls are all we hear as we watch the sillohette of the kids are being approached by the monster they thought was fake only a few moments ago. It is a great ending to a great movie.
The Willie's is one of my favorite movies of all time! For me, it stands the test of time. The stories are ageless and still fun to watch. Plus, the campy atmosphere makes for movie fun as you watch each story unfold before your very eyes. Sean Astin and James Karen are fun to watch, too and there are countless other cameos. Too many to count, honestly. There are one liners for days, humor that can't be beat, and the best costumes this side of the 90s. I cannot recommend this movie enough, it is so fun. I hope you have enjoyed this post and if you feel the need to give this one ago then go to YouTube. It's there. I would know. That's all for today and, until next time, stay spooky.
Comments
Post a Comment