Happy April Fools Day all you joker's and pranksters! I hope you are all having a great day filled with harmless pranks and laughter. Today's movie pick was picked especially for this day and it's not the horror movie you might think. Slaughter High is a wonderful April Fool's Day movie that, in my opinion, is highly underrated. I could have gone with the cult classic April Fool's Day, but Slaughter High represents all the fun of the holiday. It's full of horrible pranks, laughter, horror, blood, gore and so much more. Plus, it's not the first pick and that's what I like.
Slaughter High is about high school loser, Marty, who is victim of a slew of some not so funny practical jokes. It starts as he is lead down the hallway by the schools most beautiful and popular girl. These two are in for a lovers romp in the girls locker room. It is while in separate showers, that the other pranksters enter the locker room with cameras in hand. It is before the joke comenses that we learn that April 1st is poor Marty's birthday. If he would have known what was in store, I think he would have stayed home that day. Ready for love, Marty pulls back the shower curtain, revealing his nude body to a large group of people who mean to do him harm for their enjoyment. They poke and prod his naked body, shock him with a battery rigged pole, and give him the world's worst swirly. Before anymore can go on, the gym coach breaks up this "prank" and the kids get less than they deserve. Just some P.E detention. Push ups, weight lifting, really nothing that teaches them a lesson because during their detention these joker's decide to keep on tormenting Marty. They give him firecracker weed, for starters. Then, for the cherry on top, they put something in his test tubes in chemistry class and catch him on fire, burning and mutulating his face. They have to wheel him out of the school. In a scream, we wake up in the home of the popular girl from before, 10 years later.
When we come to, we find that miss popularity is a semi-successful actress. However, instead of doing some crummy picture, she decides to go to her class reunion, where she will meet up with all he old chums. As you can imagine, everything starts off alright. They meet up at the school, locked out at first, but manage to get in where they find a huge spread of beer and party food. They think that it was all planned by leader of the pack, Skip. As they reminess their past glories, they also relieve their greatest horror; Marty. No one here knows what happened to him after, but it is assumed that he is doing just fine and doesn't even remember them. Oh, how wrong they were. As they glaze over the fact that they destroyed someone's life by actually setting a kid on fire, they party. In 80s horror fashion, one by one, they are picked off by an ominous joker on a joker's mask. We can only assume that this is Marty seeking his rightly deserved revenge. However, there is a twist.
As Marty relishes his final kill, he starts to see his classmates in ghost/zombie form. They are coming for him, reaching and clawing. It's just as they get their goulish hands on him, we realize we are watching Marty wake from a dream. He riles in pain and agony as we realize that this was all a dream. His face is covered in bandages and he appears to be in a hospital. For the final scene in the film, we see a doctor walk into a scene of terror. The nurse treating Marty has been overpowered by a enraged Marty, who has put on her uniform. Marty turns to the doctor and lodges a seringe in his eye. The final close up is on Marty, who decides to ripped off his face in slow morion, no less. I can only assume that from there he escapes the hospital and makes the dream, that is the film, a reality. We get no indication that that happens, but I like to think so. They did tortrue him, after all.
This is one of my favorite movies...ever. My sister and I love this one, we quote it all the time. So, I guess you could say it ranks high on the quotability scale. But aside from the epic dialogue, the look of the film is just so hilarious. First of all, the school that they are attending looks like it is a sleep away school/boarding school, but it's not. It has bathtubs and bedrooms and things like that, but it's just a regular high school. Then the home of the main actress is pretty funny, too. It looks like it is made out of tin foil. Plus, her water pressure sucks. How do I know this? Well, because of the obligatory shower scene, that's how. It's just a sad little trickle. It's so silly. The while movie is just a collage of silly dialogue, visuals and accents. Some of the actors sound British during some scenes then like they were from Brooklyn in another, then southern, back to English. Their delivery is really weird, too. They always sound like they are planning something. Really devious and I don't know why, but what I do know is that it is really entertaining.
Despite the obvious cheese fest that is this movie, it does include cult movie heavyweight Caroline Munro. She has starred in some classics such as The Golden Voage of Sinbad, Maniac and The Last Horror Film. She plays the lead popular girl, Carol, and is the final "kill" of the movie.
Slaughter High is one of the best April Fool's Day movies around. I feel like it doesn't get enough love, so do yourself a favor and watch this one. You can get it on YouTube. I have a copy of it, so I know you can buy it in stores. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Let me know if you gave seen it and if you like it. Have a great day, have fun and be safe. You don't want to end up like Marty. April Fool's.
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