Hello, freaks and monsters, welcome to another Weird Movie Wednesday. This week I thought we would talk about what I am binge watching at the moment. Do y'all remember the TV show Monsters? I use to watch this all the time. Monsters is an anthology style show where each episode is a different horror story. It is in the same vein as The Twilight Zone, Tales From The Dark Side, and Tales From The Crypt. I always thought that Monsters was the more underrated of this sub-genre of TV shows. I thought it would be cool to talk about the show and some of my fave episodes, but before that let's talk about the intro.
Monsters has the best intro out of all the horror shows ever...ever. It starts with a family getting ready to watch some TV during family hour. The dad monster is looking for something to watch, the mom monster is pushing a trolley of treats into the living room, and the little daughter monster is stoked about the candy critters mamma monster has wheeled on out. Finally, they find their favorite show Monsters and now its starting. Just from that, we know we are in for a treat. The monsters are really cool looking, too. The mom and daughter monster are cyclops monsters and the dad is a mutated couch potato? At least that's what I think he is. With this intro, you are ready and set for some horror fun with your family.
The first episode that I am going to talk about is called Bed and Boar and stars Steve Buscemi. This is one of the cool things about Monsters, it stars some pretty big names. Big to me, at least. I mean one episode stars Meatloaf and I love him. You might also see Wil Wheaton, Matt LeBlanc, Adrienne Barbeau and Linda Blair. Way cool, but I'm getting side tracked. Bed and Boar is about a traveling salesman (Buscemi) who has stopped in at this hotel that is totally vacant, except for two rooms, his and the one next door. The people next door are having a bit of a lovers spat, to put it lightly and Buscemi has complained to everyone. He calls the front desk to maybe change rooms and that doesn't work. He contemplates calling the police, he paces and rants. Ultimately, he bangs on the wall of the hotel room and hollers at them to shut it up or he is going to call the police. This stops the fight and he goes on going over his sales things when he receives a call from a mysterious stranger telling him to get out of the hotel before it is too late. He doesn't listen and goes back to his things, when he hears a knock at the door. It is the women from next door, cold, wet and distressed. He welcomes her in, gives her a towel and a shoulder to cry on. To save some time, the two bond over the events of the night, swap a few stories and end up spending the night together. During their evening together, they decide to kill her husband, who she keeps referring to as a pig. It is while they are confirming their plans that her husband comes in and, through movie magic and maniacal trickery, he is killed. It is here that we learn that the woman is not just a damsel in distress, she is a witch that has turned every one of her three husbands into pigs. This includes Buscemi and that's where the show ends, with him turning into a pig that can't resist rolling in mud puddles and snorting about it. It is truly hilarious. This story is a favorite because of how simple and funny it is. It's not too over the top and has a fun twist. It's just a fun story.
Next is The Farmers Daughter. This takes the classic travelers tale of the forbidden farmers daughter and bumps it up a notch. Its starts off like they all do, with a traveling salesmen coming off the road, this time due to a trick hair-pin curve, totaling his car. The farmers save him from the rain and make him feel at home. He wants to get going, when they tell him that they don't have a car or a phone and its storming, so he will just have to wait out the storm and stay the night. But this is where another problem occurs. Their home is too small and the only place for this stranger to sleep is with the farmers daughter which, by the way, he has seen some photographs of and finds that she is very beautiful. So, yes please, the salesman says. They fashion a modesty sheet for privacy between the two and the farm and his wife leave the salesman with their daughter. She isn't asleep and wants to talk to this stranger. They make small talk, flirting along the way. She tempts him with gardenia and a soothing voice. Eventually, the remove the sheet and meet face to face. She is beautiful and he falls in love with her instantly. She tells him that he may kiss her but not touch her. He agrees but greed gets the best of him when he grabs her arms which cause them to bleed. She's a monster. She tells them that they are to be married and gets herself ready for a wedding. The salesman tries to leave and she starts telling him about past loves of hers that all tried the same as him. She decays more and more as the scene plays on. Eventually, the two meet in front of a thrasher that the farmer had installed the first time a man tried to run out on his daughter. Selfishly, in fear and an attempt for survival, the salesman throws the farmers daughter into the thrasher, thinking that he had stopped her for good. When he turns around, however, there she is decayed and sliced to ribbons, still speaking in that soft soothing voice as before. He tells her that they can still be married and that she is still beautiful and she is moved but before any more can happen the salesman falls into the thrasher, killing him instantly. They were surprised to find that he was a Bible salesman and thought that he would have made a good son in law. Just as they mourn over what could have been we hear tires squeal as another salesman hits that trick hair-pin curve. I love this story, it is a twist on an old campfire tale. Just when you think you know what is going to happen they twist it on ya. The story is great and the make up is so awesome, but more on that later. Let's move on to my final faves.
The next one is called Satan in the Suburbs. This is about a single mother who is trying to raise her son and make a living. She writes romance novels and sells cookies for a living and is struggling. She can barley keep her lights on when suddenly things get much worse. Just when it seems like her day has reached it's peak of awfulness, a handsome devil just poofs on into her kitchen. He tells her about how Satan lost a bet to him and how his reward is that he gets to come to Earth and have somebody write a book for him about what it is like to be a devil. Out of all the people in all the world he chose her. He likes her life, her house, and her. He decides that he will help her if she helps him. However, she wants nothing to do with it, but finds that by accepting his gifts she too has become a devil. He wines and dines her, gives her a new look, new appliances, electricity, and helps her son with school and new clothes. So, she is hooked. She still wants no part of it but decides to make a little deal of her own. She calls up the boss (Satan) and makes a deal that we don't get to know about 'till later. Through all of this devilish trickery, the two bunker down and write his book. They set to publish it and if it goes through then her and her son will be un-deviled and the deal between her and Satan should fall through. I should note that throughout the episode the two connect and fall in love. When he arrives he asks "Wanna raise a little Hell?" revealing two new angles wings. He is no longer a devil and the two live happily ever after. This episode is a lot of fun to watch because it is silly, especially the son character. He has this huge helmet hair and is just such a little smart mouth. At one point he reaches for a beer and tells his mom that he is fixing to relax. The kid is 10 years old, it is just so funny. There's really nothing much more to say about this one other than it is one of few Monsters episodes that has a happy ending.
My final fave is called Zombie Lover. It is a sweet story about a regular family who, one night out of the year, has to go out and kill zombies. The father of the family feels obligated to do his part in his community and shoot some zombies. Mother plans on handing out brownies to the other hunters. The youngest child is protesting the death of zombies and our main lady Dottie is planning on spending the evening in with a good book. While she is alone reading she hears a knock on the door from someone who knows her. When she opens the door she finds a zombie holding flowers. Naturally, she is scared at first but then she goes back. You know, to be polite. She invites him in, they make small talk and eventually she asks him why he is here. I mean, he is a zombie. We learn that he loves her, always has. And just like that, the two become a couple. They are all snuggled up on the couch talking about the hardships of school, life...death. While doing all the snugly things couples do, he takes a bite out of her hand. Repulsed and terrified, Dottie fleas from her new boyfriend. He is surprised at himself and doesn't want anything to come between him and Dottie, but he is just so hungry. She decides that this could never work out, she will always be half girlfriend half dinner. He swears it isn't so and asks her to marry him. She tells him no and that it is time to leave. Before he goes, he asks if he can sign her year book, so they know that this happened and that they were friends. She obliges and runs off to get her yearbook. That's when her parents walk in the door. They think the worst, of course, and try to kill the zombie. Father lines up the shot but before he can pull the trigger Dottie jumps in front of her boyfriend, saving his "life". The shot kills her. The zombie and the father realize that her death was all due to the misunderstanding between the dead and the living. It is just when they realize the weight of their mistake when Dottie comes back! The two can finally be together and boy is she hungry. The twist of this episode comes when her bratty little brother voices his disgust for his sisters new state of living and that she is kissing on someone who is also dead. He says that he thinks that they deserve rights but he doesn't like them. The parents tell him that monsters aren't always people who look disgusting on the outside, but people who are ugly on the inside. The mother tells her zombie daughter that she is not going to let any child of her's leave her house hungry, but realizes that there is no fresh meat in the house. The brother suggests that they kill the neighbors, but the parents have other ideas. He is so snotty, he should be the one to feed his sister and her new boyfriend. And that's where that one ends. I love it. I'm a sap when it comes to love stories in horror. Especially when it is 1950's themed and everything is so pure and innocent, even if there is death and destruction. I love it and this is why this one is my favorite.
There is so much to love about this show. It is campy and fun, suggestive but not dirty, and has a wonderful sense of humor. It is good family fun. There is one aspect I want to touch on before we wrap this one up. For how cheesey this show is, there is one saving grace and that is Dick Smith. If you are into horror makeup you know about Dick Smith. He was a master of horror and age progression in the makeup world. He is known for classic makeups in movies such as The Godfather, Scanners, Taxi Driver, and The Exorcist. It was surprising for me to find out that he was the executive makeup designer for this show. I'm a huge fan of his and to find out that he helped the makeup in this show was the cherry on top.There are so many awesome episodes in this series, my little list doesn't do it justice. That's why I highly recommend this one to you, there is just so much to choose from. You can watch it for free on YouTube and I believe on Amazon Prime as well. You might have to pay a small fee, but that's what it is all coming to anyways, right? For me, it is a nice show to have on playing in the background of your day. Or you could binge watch it at night with your friends and family. It's one of those shows that you can cut up for days. in fact, I might do another count down of all my fave episodes one of these days. We'll see. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy and I hope you stay tuned. There is a surprise at the end of this week, so stay spooky friends and I will see you next time.
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