Welcome back to Weird Movie Wednesday. where we take a look at some of the obscurest movies out there. Today, in honor of my little anniversary, I will be reviewing the 80's cult classic, Garbage Pail Kids Movie. It's a story about a young boy with a dream, a crush, and a gaggle of horrendous kids from outer space.*I am spoiling the movie, so if you don't want to know what happens, then skip to the end!!!*
The story begins with our main character Dodger, played by Mackenzie Astin, being assaulted by lead bully Juice and his gang. After stealing his money and throwing him in a puddle, Dodger retreats to the antique shop where he works. While cleaning himself up, Dodger is told to avoid a mysterious trash can by his boss Manzini. Our boy Dodger is a sweet little underdog who pines after the lovely Tangerine, Juice's girlfriend. It is while she is in the antique shop that Juice and his boys run in to torment our Dodger once again. A little scuffle breaks out, causing Dodger to knock over the garbage can. It is here that the Garbage Pail Kids appear and help him against these bullies. When Manzini returns, he explains what these Garbage Pail Kids are and introduces all of them to Dodger. It is from here on that Dodger must help Manzini keep the Kids out of public in order to keep them safe from "normies" or normal people. It is explained that "normies" will attack the Garbage Pail Kids for being different and the only way to put them back in the garbage can is with magic. Dodger befriends the kids and keeps them company in the basement of the antique shop.
As mentioned before, Dodger is infatuated with Tangerine and helps her sell some clothes at a night club one night. While the two sell shirts, skirts, and other examples of hideous 80s fashion, the Garbage Pail Kids where making a mess on the other side of town. They sneak out, steal a truck, vandalize Juice's car, and makes off with a truck of stolen food. They have a little campfire and call it a night. The next day, they gift their new friend, Dodger, with a new leather jacket that they sewed for him. This new look impresses Tangerine and she decides to take advantage of Dodgers kindness to make her some new clothes for her to sell. Blinded by love, Dodger asks the kids if they would make more clothes for him. With a stolen sewing machine, the kids get to work. They eventually get bored, however, and decide to go out in disguises. As you can imagine, they get into some trouble. They somehow manage to befriend some bikers, however, and spend the rest of the evening drinking beers with them.
While the kids are out making trouble, Tangerine is finding great success selling the clothes that the Garbage Pail Kids made. So much success, in fact, that she is able to set up a fashion show. To ensure she will have enough clothes to run the show, she go's to the antique shop to talk to Dodger. It is here that she meets the Garbage Pail Kids. She is repulsed but realizes that she can take advantage of the kids and their designs. Soon, the night of the fashion show approaches. To prevent the kids from getting out, Tangerine locks them in the basement. She intends on taking all of the credit and the kids are not happy about that. Eventually, Juice and his gang find the kids and takes them to a prison for ugly people (yes, that is a thing in this movie-verse). Fortunately, Dodger and Manzini help the kids escape from the prison and they all crash the fashion show. They tear down the lights and rip the clothes off the models. Dodger and Juice get into another fight ending with juice and his boys being sent away to prison. The movie ends with Tangerine apologizing to Dodger and asking if they can still be friends. He,wisely, declines her apology due to her greed. He learns that true ugliness lies on the inside, not the out. As for the Kids, well, Manzini tries to coax them back into the can, but nothing can keep these kids down. They are out of the can and ready to cause trouble.*Spoiler's are over, you are safe!*
Wow, that was a fun ride. Let's talk a little bit about this movie, shall we. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie was made in 1987 and was globally panned as one of the worst movies ever made. This was before Troll 2, mind you. I am a huge fan of really lousy movies. The cheesier the better and this is the creme dela creme of horrible movies. First of all, they kids are terrifying. They are these giant mascot esq costumes that don't blink and their mouths barley move. Next, the plot is weird. I mean it's the Garbage Pail Kids Movie, what else would you expect, but in what universe would the Garbage Pail Kids be good fashion designers? Where did they learn to sew? Aren't they from outer space in this movie? They don't really expand on that theme at all and I wish that they had. Finally, the script and jokes are really awful. The voices of the characters are atrocious and the gags and punch lines are really off. The script is really not funny. It's more obnoxious than anything. However, this is what makes this movie really special to me. It's funny if you know anything about the cards and have a taste for bad movies.I have one final fun fact I would like to talk about. I was doing a little research into this movie and I learned that a few years back there was talk about rebooting this cult classic. It was ultimately dropped, however, due to negative reception. I am disappointed about that and here's why; this movie needs to be PROPERLY retold. I am not a huge fan of remakes but we can all agree that some movies need, no, deserve to be redone. Doesn't everything deserve a second chance? Maybe not, but in this case maybe yes. Just think about it, with all the advanced movie making technology we have today I think we could really make some killer Garbage Pail Kids. They would really pop off the screen. We could alter the script to be more funny and expand on the outer space theme. We could nix the fashion plot altogether. It's a dream that needs to come true. I think horror fans and non alike could really have a good time with this movie. I know that it may never happen, but a girl can dream. Maybe someday someone can make them come true. Until then, I'm gonna keep on dreaming.
We have come to the end of Weird Movie Wednesday. I know, I know I'm sad, too but fret not sweet friends, I will be back next week. Until then, let me tell you where you can watch this classic. Unfortunately, it is not on Netflix and is not free on YouTube. However, you can buy it on YouTube for about $3.00. You can also purchase this title on Amazon. Or, if you have the time, you might be able to find it at a good ol' fashion video and novelty shop. I do not own this movie anymore, but maybe Netflix will re-add it to their list of movies. Maybe someday. Anyways, if you have seen this movie then tell me how you liked it. Did you like it or did you think that it sucked? Do you like bad movies or did you find this one, and one's like it, just too obnoxious? Tell me what you thought by leaving me a comment either here or on my Instagram @cameronmothershed or @blood.gore.and.so.much.more Leave me a like and follow if you like what I'm doing here. Other than that, have a spooktacular day and stay tuned for more!
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